


Rumors

by Hormonal_Trashbag



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5019604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hormonal_Trashbag/pseuds/Hormonal_Trashbag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gin didn’t reply however, chest heaving and his gaze expectant. He was waiting for a confession. Well, she refused to give into him. She had never done something so indecent--disgusting, really--with that damned Sadist, and she was certain she never would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rumors

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I need to be stopped.

She growled, face down in the dirt, Sougo sitting on her back. His sword had been returned to its sheath quickly, and now he was gloating, the damned sadist.

Kagura wondered when it was she had started to pull her punches with him, and when it was that he had started to fight her with the reverse of his blade. It was as if...they _cared_ for each other. She almost hurled at the thought.

He jumped off her back at the sound of her dry heaving. “Dammit, China, can’t you do anything without puking?”

“No,” she replied flatly, thrusting her closed umbrella at him. He blocked with his scabbard.

It was such a strange feeling. While nothing would make her happier than to land a solid hit on his face, she didn’t really want to hurt him. When she kicked, he dodged, when he swung his blade, she parried. It was simple and thoughtless and almost monotonous--how many years had they kept this going? Yet, she never bored of him.

“What then, you knocked up? You definitely eat enough for two.”

Perhaps she never felt boredom with him because he always found a new way to tease her. Their dance-like scuffles rarely changed, but he had a shrewd tongue.

“Shut up, you idiot,” she snapped back. “Do I look pregnant to you?”

He paused, feigning a serious expression. “Well--”

“Don’t you answer that!” Kagura barked before he could tease her further.

She shoved him as he stepped back, snickering, and he toppled down, landing on his tailbone. He hissed, surprised by the sudden, throbbing pain, and she sat herself heavily on his chest. Sougo didn’t resist as she pinned his wrists over his head, eyes widening fractionally.

“Oi--”

“I’m just as sexy as any Victory Secret model, you stupid tax thief.”

The problem was, in the years they had known each other, he had had something of a growth spurt. She had not, in so many words. Which, naturally, meant he had much longer arms than she did. Which meant she had to reach farther to keep them over his head. Which meant, as she leaned over to restrain his hands, he got, quite literally, a face full of her chest.

“I think you mean _Victoria_ Secret model,” he muttered.

It was only then, at hearing his muffled voice, that she realized just where his face was. Kagura squealed uncharacteristically, stumbling away from him. After seeing the flush of his scowling face, she reacted violently, delivering a swift kick to his groin.

He grunted, before shouting after her, “Are you trying to prevent me from having kids?”

Kagura, however, was already half way down the street.

 

* * *

 

She had thought the entire incident was over. Sure, she had pressed her breasts into the face of a notoriously sadistic police officer in the middle of the street, but no one would dare mention it to her. She had a reputation of her own, after living in Kabuki-cho for so long. She certainly didn’t anticipate whispers to circulate behind her back.

Kagura didn’t suspect a thing until Gin came storming into the house a week later, returning from a run to the convenience store.

“Kagura-chan, how could you go behind my back and make babies with Sofa-kun? Are you trying to get Gin-chan killed?”

She gagged. Shinpachi, who had been delicately sipping tea on the couch opposite of her, choked.

“Who the hell would want to do that?” She barked back at him, her nails clawing into the couch cushions, gouging new holes into its fabric.

Gin didn’t reply however, chest heaving and his gaze expectant. He was waiting for a confession. Well, she refused to give into him. She had never done something so indecent--disgusting, really--with that damned Sadist, and she was certain she never would. As if she would ever sleep with him! She was ready to pound her fist through the wall.

It was Shinpachi that eventually cleared his throat. “Actually,” he muttered, “It’s not too surprising, if you think about it.”

“What?” Kagura shrieked, physically jumping into a defensive position.

“Kagura-chan and Okita-san have always been sort of flirty with each other, in their own, terrifying way.”

“Flirty?” she repeated, about ready to pound her fist through him. “We hate each other! And what would you know, cherry-boy?”

While unamused by her name-calling, Shinpachi’s stance didn’t change. Gin seemed to be considering the notion. Kagura could not believe what she was witnessing. How stupid could they be, to think she was interested in Sougo? It was beyond stupid, it was--

“You’re grounded,” Gin declared.

Kagura stared at him, stunned into momentary silence, before roaring, “I’m an adult! You can’t ground me!”

“You live in my house, so it’s my rules. And rule number one is to not get Gin-chan killed.”

She stomped from the living room, expression stony but resolute. Kagura slipped on her shoes, stepping through the front door.

“I’m moving out,” she slammed the door shut. At least until she got to the root of her problem.

 

* * *

 

His hand shot out, catching her fist before it could make contact with his smug face. He had been napping leisurely, to Kagura’s frustration, his arms lazily crossed and an eye mask obscuring his vision. She hated that, despite his handicap, he still sensed her attack and easily stopped it.

He rolled over from where he had been laying on the tatami to pin her to the floor.

“I’m going to kill you,” she seethed, and he lowered the mask, his expression mildly disappointed.

“You’re threats are weak, China.”

She clenched her teeth, furious as she ripped her hand from his, shoving him away. “I don’t care. Why are you telling everyone that we’ve been making babies?”

He gagged theatrically, sitting up. “Why would I tell anyone that? That’s just disgusting--”

“Well, someone had to have started it!” she interrupted, rolling her eyes. “Gin-chan just grounded me because he thinks I’m pregnant.”

Sougo laughed, and for once, his amusement sounded genuine. “He _grounded_ you? Aren’t you almost nineteen?”

“Shut up,” she huffed, before adding with a sneer, “people are probably talking shit about you too--the stupid tax thief that can’t keep it in his pants is having a bouncing bastard boy.”

She patted her flat belly for emphasis, pouting at him. “Poor, little Sadist probably can’t take being gossiped about.”

There was a sound of someone coughing, and they both turned to see the ruffled expression on Hijikata’s face. His lips had pursed around the butt of his cigarette, ash falling from the end. Sougo barely batted an eye.

“Hijikata-san, eavesdropping is considered rude. Commit seppuku, and I might forgive you.”

Hijikata was used to this brand of abuse, however, and pulled himself together again, sighing, “So it’s true.”

“Go die, Mayora,” Kagura barked. She swore she saw Sougo swoon from the corner of her eye.

“I always knew something like this would happen,” he tutted, shaking his head. Kagura scowled at him as he puffed on his cigarette, exhaling smoke. “You two always were flirting.”

Kagura _couldn’t_ believe it. How stupid was he, that he thought she flirted with the Sadist? Both the damned Mayora and Shinpachi seemed to think the same thing, and it made Kagura wonder if there was others that believed they were flirting as well.

“Us trying to kill each other isn’t flirting,” she ground out, hoping to at least set him straight. “Don’t you know what flirting looks like? Are you an old-man cherry-boy? Huh?”

Sougo snickered, repeating old-man cherry-boy under his breath, and she almost laughed too. Before she remembered again, they really weren’t trying to kill each other at all. Her chest felt tight with an unfamiliar pressure, and it only made her want to take it out on Sougo. Or perhaps the entire Shinsengumi; they had it coming, and she could use a good work-out.

Hijikata seemed to decide that arguing the point any further with her would be pointless. Instead, he turned to Sougo. “Fix this. We don’t need the Shinsengumi’s reputation to get any worse than it already is.”

“Fix this?” he drawled back. “Hijikata-san, what are you suggesting?”

“Legitimatize it. Marry her, or do something. I don’t care, just make _this_ not a problem.”

“I’m not pregnant!” Kagura roared, getting to her feet. “We haven’t even kissed yet, so--”

She paused, biting her lip. Kagura needed to learn how to keep her mouth shut, because there was no way they’d believe her, if she tried to say she didn’t mean it like that.

“Yet?” Sougo asked, his voice overly sensual. She felt her cheeks turn pink as he wriggled his eyebrows at her. “You seem to think we will, at some point.”

She hated it when he teased her. “No, I--”

“I could kiss you now,” he uttered, unembarrassed, pushing himself up to his feet.

Hijikata made a silent and speedy retreat, and Kagura was convinced that Sougo was just taking another joke too far, but he probably didn’t want to witness them being intimate, if he didn’t have to.

“Don’t make fun of me,” she snapped at him as he stepped closer.

“Why would I do that?” he asked, centimeters away. “I’m being perfectly serious.”

“Because you always make fun of--”

As it turned out, he wasn’t trying to tease her, Kagura quickly discovered as he leaned down, covering her lips with her own. He hummed, amused when she jumped out of her skin at the sudden contact, but held her in place. There was no escaping him, but she realized she didn’t want to, as her fingers reached up tentatively to brush across his jawline.

“You want to go kick Danna’s ass?” he breathed against her reddened cheek. “I mean, we haven’t even had sex _yet.”_

Kagura squeaked, before kneeing him in the gut.

**Author's Note:**

> What am I even doing with my life...? Also, I wanna know what's going on with the Shinsengumi in the manga rn. It's been too long. Are they safe? Have they been eating their vegetables? I'm so anxious about this tbh.


End file.
